The Acorn King would like to salute Chet Love, the undisputed most awesomest man ever. From the years 1977-1986 Chet ruled the underground scene as both a b-boy and a b-movie star.
Chet Love first gained notoriety in 1977 as the premiere star of "Whitesplotation" cinema. Hollywood took notice of the green rolling in from Blaxploitation titles such as: Shaft, Black Belt Jones, Blackula, Cleopatra Jones, The Mac, Superfly, and Black Caesar, now the studios hungered for a bigger piece of the bean pie. Whitesplotation was their answer. Chet was discovered in a Rent-A-Center® parking lot in Pawtucket Rhode Island, where he was found breakdancing on a square of linoleum beside his bitchin' Iroc-Z. In Chet the studios saw a white boy with ethnic crossover appeal, this was the most excited white people had been since Elvis.
The viewing audience was initially apprehensive of this new sub-genre of film. After all, the exploitation of white people was something entirely new to Americans — but Chet quickly won their hearts with his masterful portrayal of an outer-space tennis pro named "Esquire Jones," in the now classic Science Fiction series "Honkey Boy 9000." This role would earn Chet both public notoriety and international acclaim. Before you could say "lilly white" Honkey Boy was followed by an onslaught of more Whitesplotation films led by, "White Collar Dollar" and "Uncle Charlie's Cracker Farm." Chet's trademark good looks and darling catchphrase "white-on" took America by storm. For the first time in nearly a decade the white owned studios were in the black again.
Over the next few years, a slew of other titles followed: Honky-Tonk Honkey, Uppity McEntire, Agent Pasty Face, Vanilla Vega Summers The Hamptons, Honkey Boy 9001, Croquet Crackdown, Salt & Sugar Shakedown, Guest House Party, Suburban Snowfall, Chalk, No Rhythm All Blues, Honkey Boy 9002, WASP Weekend, Casper-Man Ain't Got No Love For Mookie-Man, White Devil's Dance Party, and Honkey Boy In Future Land...just to name a few.
In 1981 Chet would leave the silver screen and invade American households, to take a crack at 80's sticoms. His first endeavor was a comical episodic about an out of work English professor who finds love and life after accepting a job as a rich woman's dog walker — In the uproariously funny "Who's Walking Whom?"
The series was canceled after only eight episodes, but Chet quickly bounced back, accepting the role of 'Electric Willy Starks,' a breakdancing truck driver traveling the open road and serving all suckers who step in his path. The series was titled "Breaker-Breaker." The series lasted only six episodes, yet it was the most successful show ever to air on ABC.
By 1983 Chet had amassed an army of lady-friends and one of the finest mustaches in all of Hollywood, but sick of all the limelight, Chet made the decision to drop out of the public eye and return to his modest playboy life of underground breakdancing. So If you're in the right place at the right time, wearing the right denim, you might just catch a glimpse of this funky folk hero famous for his expensive taste in cheap women. The world knows him as Chet.
Fast Fact: Chet's great uncle (Winthrope Love) broke the color barrier of the Negro Leagues, becoming the first and only white player to ever play in a negro league game.
Chet Love is difficult to sum up into words, but a noted paleontologist once put it best when he said:
“CHET IS LARGER THAN LIFE. TO BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND CHET YOU MUST FIRST UNDERSTAND THE INNER-WORKINGS OF THE UNIVERSE AND OUR PLACE IN IT AS A WHOLE. THE CREATION OF MAN, AND THE CREATION OF LIFE ITSELF.”
As a postscript to the Chet piece, I would also like people to know that Chet was indirectly responsible for the invention of the Almond Joy Bar. One day while "showin' some sucka the score" in a breakdancing comp Chet pulled out the now legendary Vanilla Thunder Shakedown, causing his opponent to fall down in disgrace. His opponent, Cool Breeze LBC, fell onto Chet's open Mounds bar. Upon standing-up, with the candy stuck to his crotch, Chet yelled "Mounds don't have Nuts". At this precise moment a candy executive was walking by and an advertising phenomenom was sparked. This is not an exaggeration of the truth but a factual event witnessed by myself, Cool Breeze's top dog — Pookie Head Jenkins.
Visit Chet's fan page on MySpace: Chet Love
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