All Your Acorns Belong To Me!  

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A little while ago, it was brought to my attention that people had begun to notice my acorn domination.

I was recently forwarded this article, from, about how scientists are baffled over a "mysterious acorn shortage." Well guess what? The mystery is over, I took all the acorns. That's right, all your acorns belong to me. Why you ask? Because, I am The Acorn King! Uh-duh. I wish I could be sympathetic about your Acorn recession, but this squirrel's gotta eat and it takes an army of acorns to fuel my kingdom. Deal with it. Dealt? Good. I'm not sure this woman is dealing with it too well, she sort of has the deer in the headlights look going on.

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2 Squirrels Squirreling

The acorn shortage has left her absolutely speechless. Well, not speechless, but with poor speech.

My wife did her PhD on acorns. We both hate your ass.

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About A.K.

The Acorn King is a human being living on planet Earth. He firmly believes that with hard work and dedication, he will one day grace the cover of Cat Fancy.


Misconceptions About The Acorn King

  • I only drink Shasta cola.
  • I have a whammy bar hidden somewhere on my body.
  • I know the atomic weight of Boron.
  • I own a glorious mustache comb.
  • I can conjugate the Spanish verb tomar.
  • I wear socks and shoes with my stilts.
  • I hang out at the Regal Beagle.

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