Your #1 Source for Non-Existent Elderly Smut.  

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So I just checked this analytics service I use for my blog, to see which search terms are leading people to my site and I was delighted to discover that my number one search term was: "Old Woman Porn," sweet!

Now, I'm pretty sure this has got to be due to my: "That Time I Found An Old Woman's Porn Stash" post from last year. Actually I'm sure it is, because anyone arriving at this blog, hoping to catch a bifocal full of wrinkled-racks, or time-worn-taints, would be colossally disappointed.

Of course the irony of this is, by writing this post, I've now doubled my chances of disappointing those searchers stumbling upon my blog for the first time. So, as to not make this a total waste of their time, here you go. You're welcome.

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All work by "The Acorn King" is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

9 Squirrels Squirreling

Okay, you now have gotten me back for making you stare at my bare Snuggie ass.

Almost. Almost.
Oh, by the way, I saw were some people were organizing Snuggie bar crawls on Facebook. I think you should organize one in The A-T-L.

Whoa. I did not need to see that this afternoon. Thanks not. ;)

Ha, no problem. At least they weren't real, it was a shot from Something About Mary.

Oh, AK that was just gross. My favorite key word is Spongebitch.

Spongebitch, nice. Sounds like what might come out of Sponge Bob's mouth if he were a pimp.

You can't fool me. I know E.T.'s boobs when I see them.

Time has not been kind to E.T. and his boobies.

lol those do look like ets tits haha.owwwwch

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About A.K.

The Acorn King is a human being living on planet Earth. He firmly believes that with hard work and dedication, he will one day grace the cover of Cat Fancy.


Misconceptions About The Acorn King

  • I only drink Shasta cola.
  • I have a whammy bar hidden somewhere on my body.
  • I know the atomic weight of Boron.
  • I own a glorious mustache comb.
  • I can conjugate the Spanish verb tomar.
  • I wear socks and shoes with my stilts.
  • I hang out at the Regal Beagle.

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