What Does Al Gore Have To Do With Porn?  

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So I was lying in bed this morning thinking about how I really need to take out my recycling bin today, then my mind started to drift and I started thinking about how I really still need to see that Al Gore environmental movie “An Inconvenient Truth,” I can’t believe I still haven’t seen it, it’s been in my Netflix queue for ages.

Well, then for some reason my mind shifted gears again and I felt the need to think what the porno knockoff title for that movie would be…you know, like “Harry Potter” would be “Harry Twater,” or “Saving Private Ryan” would become “Shaving Ryan’s Privates,” or "Star Wars" becomes "Star Whores"…stuff like that, we’ve all played that game. C’mon, don’t give me that look like I just shat in your grandmother’s stew. Ok, so maybe I did once.



Anyway, I laid there in bed for a good 15 minutes trying to think of a good porn parody name for “An Inconvenient Truth” and I came up with nada. Well I came up with “A Prepubescent Youth,” but that didn’t really rhyme as well as I'd like, plus it really didn't make sense with the original title.

Over the years I’ve easily come up with some great porn titles for many, many, many movies, so why not now? Then I remembered Al Gore’s wife (Tipper Gore) and her battle in the mid 80’s to put those irritating parental advisory labels on all music with lyrics deemed “offensive.”



I remember going shopping with my parents and having to scrape the parental advisory sticker off a Public Enemy tape just so my parents would buy it for me. Luckily the advisory warning was in sticker form and not printed onto the actual album art. But really those labels did nothing but bring more attention to the albums they were slapped on.
As a teen, that lable might as well read: "Parental Advisory Awesome Lyrics"




So with that in mind, could it be that the ever-crafty Al Gore has built an anti-porn naming system into the title of his movie? Brilliant!

Assignment: Can anyone think of a good porn name for this movie that still rhymes with the title and is recognizable enough to the original, so you’d still know which movie it came from?




15 Squirrels Squirreling

An Inconvenient Truth... Six Inches Into Ruth... Naw, not close enough... An Introverted Poop... Nope, too scatological... An Inconvenient Poo-say. Man, that's a stretch. Okay okay okay - I give up. But I will share with you the best porn copy I ever saw in a porn catalog (that arrived in my mailbox completely unbidden - I shit you not). It was a description of a porn video and it read, "Meat-eating hardbodies lunging on love lumber". Whoever wrote that should get a Porn Pulitzer.

HA, That is one of the funniest porno descriptions I have ever seen, not that I have ever read any porn descriptions, I mean...I'm going to stop talking now.

I'm stumped like Thaddeus on this one, so I think you might be right after going through the thesaurus this afternoon: Al is brilliant. Probably he and Tipper both worked on it (if ever a porn name or one ripe for parody, I think "Tipper Gore," is it? Don't you?) together -- ewww, shudder.

A Convenient Booth. Eh.

But I think your parents must have been tres cool to get you a Public Enemy tape with song titles like like "Night of the Living Baseheads."

About the tape, though: rap at one of its finest moments, especially...oh, where do I start?...one of my favorites, not one of the "hits": She Watch Channel Zero? probably for the underlying guitar line.

No doubt, PE was so good back in the day. Their first three albums rarely left my tape deck. Baseheads and Channel Zero are classics.

The best I could come up with is
"A cum-venient youth"

Zingo! That's the best one yet, you managed to keep "venient" in the name, while rhyming youth with truth. Brilliant!

how about "al gore fucks a polar bear."

pretty damned good, heh?

you wish you'd thought of that.

"an inebriated youth"

I rarely LOL for real, but that polar bear one got me. I'm pissed I didn't think of that one!

An Inconvenient TOOTH!!! Ouch!

"An Un-pregnant Youth?" ...you stumped me on that one.

An Inconvienent Douche


haha

"An incontinent moose"? No, that's shitty.

"A chin-cum, jiz-spent youth"?

"A sin some, misspent youth"?

You could kick Spacemonkey's up.

How about - Al Whore is In Cum-venient Youth

I like it! Nice addition. Is that you Mr. Adam?

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