In My Day...  

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Back in my day, our iPods didn't have touch screens. You had to crank through your songs with a scroll wheel...that actually moved! This wheel used to get beach sand stuck in it and stick, plus it was heavy as a brick compared to the new fangled iPods that the kids have today. And it only came in one color, white. And the screen had no colors! And it didn't get internet! And it would only hold 5 gigs! And it couldn't locate the nearest Starbucks to me! And it couldn't hold photos, or play video! IT ONLY PLAYED MUSIC!!! Kids today have it so easy.


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About A.K.

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Acorn King works as an advertising copywriter. In 2002 he reached the pinnacle of his career, getting the opportunity to write for comedic genius Carrot Top. 

Realizing there was little left to accomplish in life, he decided to exit Madison Avenue and move to LA, where he is now free to speak about himself in the 3rd person. 
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Misconceptions About The Acorn King

  • I only drink Shasta cola.
  • I have a whammy bar hidden somewhere on my body.
  • I know the atomic weight of Boron.
  • I own a glorious mustache comb.
  • I can conjugate the Spanish verb tomar.
  • I wear socks and shoes with my stilts.
  • I hang out at the Regal Beagle.

Facts About The Acorn King

  • My favorite vowel is Y, sometimes.
  • Knows dyslexia is no matter laughing.
  • I like Hall, but not Oates.
  • Is sure that astroturf confuses earthworms.
  • When Jimmy cracked corn, I was the only one who cared.
  • Believes "aquarium" is just a fancy word for fish zoo.
  • Asian is the new black, but I'm white.

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